Bogeygolfer's Blog

Views from a Bogey Golfer
By: John Corey

Introduction:

Lorena Ochoa sucks. I mean that in the most complimentary way. Ms. Ochoa is 5 feet almost nothing and 120lbs. soaking wet and can hit a drive 300 yards. I am 6 feet and a robust 235lbs. and am lucky to break 230 yards with a wind at my back. I wanted to write this book because I cannot learn anything from Lorena Ochoa explaining her swing tips in “Golf Magazine” or on “The Golf Channel”. Lorena’s swing looks like Gumby on Steroids and mine looks like Tim Conway’s “Old Man” character from “The Carol Burnett” show.

Golf books are always written from a Professional’s perspective with pictures of the “perfect swing” and include Golf Course views from Pebble Beach or Augusta. Well, most of us will never play those courses and we have to play the game God gave us. I wanted to share my love of this incredible game but from the perspective of a bogey golfer. I wanted to share my views of course management when you are not hitting a Sand Wedge into a 400 yard par four on your second shot and I wanted to show the views I see on my local community golf course. You really have not lived until you see if your Golf Cart can out run the lady in her bathrobe chasing you down the fairway after slicing your drive through her screened patio on #4. I do not speak Chinese but I can tell a swear word in any language.

I would guess that my golfing biography is as unremarkable as thousands of other golfers. I am 52 years old and have played golf since I used to sneak onto the “West Nine” behind my home in Plainfield New Jersey at age 9 or 10. I remember taking only three individual lessons over the years and the rest is self taught/untaught.

My family moved to Miami when I was 12 and it did give me a 12 month golfing window of opportunity which I have taken advantage of, on and off. I played a lot of golf in my teens and forties with life taking over in the interim. I have probably averaged about one round of golf a month over the course of time. Today my handicap is 16 but I rarely break 90 on unfamiliar courses and shoot low 80’s on my home course. I did have one hole in one, while playing with two of my sons Mike and Brian on Mother’s Day 2006 at Calusa Country Club, Hole #3. It was 163 yards, wind in my face with a Cobra 9 metal (you never forget the details of that moment).

There is a picture of me taking the ball out of the hole but unfortunately I am holding my putter because I did not see the ball go into the cup. I really want a second one where I see the ball the whole way. These days due to poor physical fitness and age my game has changed significantly. I hit more fairways off of the tee box but that is because I hit the ball only 80% as far as I once did. I am an ex-slicer with bouts of recurrence and I use a Texas wedge from 30 yards out if there is nothing in the way.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my wife Nancy and Children Carolyn, Michael, Christopher, Brian and Eric for playing golf with me and putting up with endless Golf on TV. I also want to thank all my bosses over the years for not catching me playing golf while I was supposed to be working. I hope you all enjoy my “Views from a Bogey Golfer”.

*In editing this text my Brother in Law (who knows less about Golf than most people do about Nuclear Fission) asked me to define what a Bogey Golfer is for the uninformed reader. Here goes: A Bogey is one shot over par on a single golf hole. i.e. On a Par 3 hole it takes you 4 shots to get the ball in the cup. Since there are 18 holes on a normal Golf Course, Bogey golf is 18 over par or 90 on a Par 72 Golf Course. A Bogey Golfer is someone with a USGA Handicap Index of 18 or someone that normally shoots around 90 on a Golf Course with a Slope rating of 113. If he asks anymore questions like that during the writing of this book, I will beat him with my Niblick.